Where Does The Desire To Be In Control Or To Be In Control Come From In Bed?

Have the books in the 50 Shades of Gray trilogy piqued your interest and, more importantly, raised any concerns about sexual practises associated with oppression and sadism? Turned on to the max by feeling dominated or being the one in charge in your sexual relationships What are the best ways to introduce sexual power play into a relationship without hurting the other person? You should be aware that such a sexuality has both causes and effects. We evade answering the original question.

Anger As A Source Of Sexual Arousal

According to Western cultural norms, sexuality should not be marked by aggression, but rather by tender caresses, sensuality, and other forms of tenderness. However, for many people, the excitement level rises when a certain level of consenting aggressiveness is introduced into the sexual relationship. Aggression is enjoyable because of the element of surprise, unexpectedness, and a certain loss of control. A sort of nod to what our sexuality has always dictated about who we should be.

Even in sexuality, being assertive has its place. It aids you in carving out a niche for yourself, as well as realising and putting to good use your unique talents and abilities. Aggressiveness should be avoided, however. Aggression in women has long been associated with oppression, so it’s understandable if you tend to suppress it. Women’s sexuality has evolved from a passive to an active one thanks to feminist movements.

Dominance Follows From Aggressive Behaviour?

No, that’s not quite right. The desire to “take your place” in bed does not have to mean you are dominating and grabbing hold of your partner. If both partners are on board, sexual dominance can turn into a contest of wills. As long as the dominatrix meets someone who enjoys being dominated, there will be no conflict of interest.

We need to react when our partner’s dominance is increasing, not decreasing, because the more he gives to his dominating partner, the greater the dominance will become. As you’ve come to realise, the key is effective communication. If you’re going to engage in this type of erotic activity, you should pick someone with whom you feel comfortable and enthusiastic about having a sexual relationship.

What’s With The Need To Be In Charge?

There are a slew of possibilities, to be honest! Everyone has a history, and the desire for power is rooted in the education and personal experiences of each person. Three purposes can be served by this kind of eroticism:

Defensive \Scomplete \Shedonic

Dominance and submission help manage emotional wounds through sexuality in the first function, the defensive function. This is a challenging game that should only be taken on if you’re prepared to take the risks involved. Those who enjoy dominating may have a constant need for control and apprehension about being completely overwhelmed by their partner (s). In cases where dominance is an unavoidable part of the sexual relationship, sex therapy may help to uncover the underlying causes.

Dominant or submissive people believe that their sexual identity is strengthened by their BDSM in Completion Function. Completion Function is part of their sexual identity.

Hedonism, Which Is Simply Synonymous With Pleasure, Is The Final Possible Function

From Tyranny To Sadism, Everything In Between

As a result of sadism, a person seeks sexual pleasure by inflicting pain or suffering on another. Domination at its most extreme. Psychoanalysts like Sigmund Freud have done a lot of research into why people behave the way they do. Sadism has been linked to castration anxiety, according to some, which causes one to harm the other in order to avoid being hurt oneself. It has been suggested by other researchers that early childhood sexual pleasure experienced during physical corrections may be associated with sadism.

Remember that sexual dominance can be played but that when it goes too far, there are dangers on both the physical and moral fronts that must be considered. Not losing sight of your healthy personal power means remembering that you are the one in charge of deciding which things are right or wrong for you.

How Can A Dominated-Dominant Relationship Be Made More Pleasurable And Mutually Beneficial?

When It Comes To A Dominance-Submission Relationship, Three Things Must Be Taken Into Consideration:

The use of a shared safeword means that the practise (whether sexual or not) must be ended as soon as possible. For those whose practises forbid the use of speech, choose a safeword that is more physical, like shaking hands or giving three small strokes with the index finger. Respects other people’s safewords as well.

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